Sixteen Seconds
by Dmarx
Summary: Spoilers for Setup/Countdown. In those final sixteen seconds, they saw the unspoken truth in each other's eyes. Now that they have been given a second chance, will Castle and Beckett finally find the courage to admit their feelings? Complete.
1. Kate's POV

_Summary: In those final sixteen seconds, they saw the unspoken truth in each other's eyes. Now that they have been given a second chance, will Castle and Beckett finally find the courage to admit their feelings? Two-part one-shot, spoilers for Countdown._

_Author's Note: So this is a two-part one-shot for now. The first chapter is Kate's POV, the second is Rick's. Takes place at the end of/right after the episode._

_Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Castle or it's characters._

**Chapter 1**

"I'm sorry." As Agent Fallon repeated the words, the harsh reality began to set in. They were going to die. They were going to be vaporized by a dirty bomb that would destroy the city they loved, and no one would even be able to tell that they had been here. In sixteen seconds, it would all be over.

"Castle," Beckett whispered. It was all she could manage as she reached out and took his hand, looking deep into his eyes. She saw in them a mixture of fear and sadness, but there was no mistaking the pure love that was also present. The love that had never been given a chance.

As a cop, Beckett knew every day when she left for work that there was a chance she may not return home. It was a risk she accepted as part of her job, but the full implications of that had never been clear until now. Usually in a life-or-death situation, she did not have time to think, but this time she did, and the fact was that she was going to die with regrets. Suddenly she wished that Josh had gone to Haiti. That he had not been there when she woke up because then maybe she would have had the courage to finish telling Castle what she had started to say in the freezer. Then at least they could die knowing the truth.

With time running out, Beckett knew she should speak up. She knew she should tell him what she had wanted to say before but she found herself unable to speak. Instead she just held his unwavering gaze, hoping that in these final seconds he would see in her eyes the unspoken truth.

* * *

Back at the precinct that evening, Beckett watched in confusion as Castle headed towards the elevator. She knew he had been about to say something else….something much more profound than "I should go home, get some rest. Long day. Good night."

She had finally forced her own "good night" out of her mouth when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to find Josh there and let herself be pulled into his embrace, but she could not stop herself from watching a defeated looking Castle walk away from her. As she stood there in Josh's arms, suddenly everything felt so wrong. His arms were not the ones she wanted to feel around her. His eyes were not the ones she wanted to look into. He may have stayed in the country this time, but for the most part, he had not been there when it mattered the most.

Beckett's mind flashed back to the freezer, to the final moments before she had lost consciousness, and the things she had almost said. To the look in Castle's eyes as they faced what they thought were their final seconds together. They had nearly died three times in the last three days, coming within milliseconds of death, and if Beckett had learned anything from that, it was that life was too short to keep holding back. As she heard the elevator doors shut, she knew what she had to do.

"Josh, I have to go," she said, stepping away from him.

"Kate, I thought…."

"I'm sorry, Josh," she interrupted, grabbing her coat from the back of her chair. "There's somewhere else I need to be right now." And with that, she headed for the stairwell, leaving the precinct without a backward glance. She knew she owed Josh an explanation, and she would give him one later, but right now, there were someone else's arms she needed around her. She had flung her arms around Castle's neck before, in the heat of the moment, celebrating their narrow escape, and the feel of his arms around her shoulders had assured her that they were alive and that everything was going to be okay. He had held her so tightly and in those few seconds, she had felt safe. But now, as the adrenaline was wearing off, the reality of the last few days was coming crashing down on her. She needed to feel safe again, and this time, she had no intention of letting go.

* * *

Beckett raced outside, scanning for signs of Castle. When she did not see him she hurried to her car. Cursing the New York City traffic, she contemplated using the siren before deciding that was an abuse of power. As desperate as she felt, going to Castle's place hardly counted as an emergency. As she sat through the same stop light for the third time, her mind floated back to Josh. She had left him standing there, confused, likely facing the confused stares of her coworkers as well. She knew she should have explained, or at the very least made plans to see him later. She should have at least acted excited that her boyfriend had chosen her over a trip to Haiti, but at the moment, all she could think about were nice ways to convince him to go anyways. If she knew he was leaving again, maybe she would not feel so bad about breaking his heart.

As great of a guy as Josh was, Beckett knew that was exactly what she was going to do. She was, once again, going to break a perfectly good guy's heart for Richard Castle. _What has he done to me?_ Beckett wondered. _Two years ago, Josh would have been perfect. Now, suddenly no one else is good enough._ Shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it all, Beckett turned the corner on to Castle's street. As she parked, she full implications of what she was about to do hit her and she hesitated with her hand on the door handle. Part of her brain was screaming at her to turn around, to go back to Josh. But for the first time ever, the part of her that wanted Castle was screaming louder. Before she lost her nerve, she stepped out of her car and headed inside. _Calm down,_ she told herself. _After what happened today, there's no more time to be scared, so suck it up._ Hoping that she looked more confident than she felt, Beckett took a deep breath before knocking on the door.


	2. Rick's POV

**Chapter 2**

"Castle." Beckett choked out his name, reaching for his hand. He grasped it firmly and met her gaze, realizing that this was the last chance he would ever have to look into her green eyes. The bomb was going to go off in sixteen seconds and they were both powerless to stop it. This was the end, and although he knew he should be scared and thinking of his daughter and mother, the only thing on his mind was the woman next to him and the fact that if he was going to die, at least he was with the woman he loved.

As he looked at her, missed opportunities were flying through his head. There had been so many chances to tell her how he felt, and every time, something had gotten in the way. A door being unzipped, losing consciousness, his own fear. He heard their words, how close they had come, but every time, the conversation remained unfinished.

"_Why do you keep coming back, Rick?"_

"_I wish that I had someone who would be there for me and I could be there for him and we could just dive into it together."_

"_I just want you to know how much I…."_

"_Always."_

And even now, as time was running out, he could not find the words to say. He knew it was written all over his face, though. The pain of not knowing what could have been, the regret at letting fear hold him back. But as he looked into her eyes, he saw the answer he had waited for three years to know. Despite their imminent fate, he could see admiration and love in the way she looked at him, but there was no mistaking the regret in her eyes as well.

Perhaps that was what compelled him to try to stop the bomb. He knew that whatever he was about to do was going to be a stupid idea, but they were running out of time and he had to try something. He knew they had already narrowly escaped death twice, but they both needed one more chance to make things right. Hoping that fate was on their side, he reached out with his free hand, grabbed all of the wires, and pulled them as hard as he could.

* * *

"So I was thinking….that maybe…." The words "we should go out for dinner and a drink to celebrate being alive" died on his lips as he spotted a tall figure approaching them. Cursing yet another interrupted opportunity, he arranged his face in what he hoped was a convincing smile before finishing. "I should go home, get some rest. Long day. Good night." Without waiting for her response, he turned and walked away.

As he stepped into the elevator, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes for fear that if he opened them he would see her once again in Josh's arms. It was a sight he could not bear to see, especially after the day they just had. He had almost died not once, not twice, but three times in the last three days and every time, all he could think about was that he had never told her that he loved her. Now, having miraculously survived, he was going to take the chance that he had been denied so many times. Unfortunately this time, fate was not on his side.

Castle had just gotten home and was cleaning up the shower curtain projector they had set up when he heard a knock at the door. When he opened it and saw who it was, there was a split second in which he considered slamming the door in her face. The sting of their final conversation in the precinct was still too strong and he was not sure his emotions could deal with her right now. Fighting the urge, he forced a smile and stepped back.

"Beckett," he managed.

"Hey, can I come in?" she asked tentatively.

He knew this could be a terrible idea but Castle gave in anyways. "Sure." They silently headed over to the sofa and sat down. He waited until they were both settled before he spoke again. "So what's up?"

"I just…." Beckett trailed off. She was losing her nerve. "What were you going to say?" The words came out quickly before she had a chance to stop herself. "Before Josh showed up."

Castle flinched at the sound of his name, and it was then that Beckett realized why Castle had left so abruptly. "Nothing, it doesn't matter," he said softly.

"Yes it does," she pressed. "This last case made me realize that it does. I…." her voice broke and she looked away. Castle wanted to reach out and hug her, tell her that everything would be okay, but he was still angry. He knew he should be angry at Josh, not her, but he could not help himself, because every time he looked at her, he was reminded of what he did not have. "Castle, when we were watching that timer count down, the only thing I could think of was you." This startled him enough to make him look up. "I just kept thinking that when it all happened, I was going to die regretting that I was too scared to be honest with you. And now that we're still alive, I have to tell you what I was going to say in the freezer because you deserve to know the truth." He had looked away again, afraid that the truth was not what he wanted to hear. "Castle, look at me please," she begged.

Tearing his eyes away from his shoes, Castle looked up to find that her eyes were full of tears. "What's…."

"Castle, just listen." She cut him off. "I was going to tell you how much I love working with you. How much it means to me that you always have my back and…." She took a deep breath, knowing that her next words would change her life forever. "And that I think I'm falling in love with you."

Castle was speechless. Those were the last words he had ever expected to hear when he left the precinct today, yet here he was, sitting on his couch with Kate Beckett, and she had just admitted that she was falling for him. His mind was racing so fast that he did not even realize he had not responded.

"Rick," she choked out. "Say something."

He looked at her, seeing the same fear in her eyes that he felt every time he had considered having this conversation with her. "I…." giving up on words, he reached out and pulled her to him, hugging her as tightly as he could. As she hugged him back and he realized what was actually happening, he finally found his voice again. "Kate, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that."

"I'm sorry, Rick," she said.

"What for?" he asked, leaning back slightly.

"For not telling you sooner. I could see that I was hurting you, but I was scared. I could see it in your eyes today too, right before…." She trailed off, knowing that he understood. "But after today, we can't be scared anymore," she continued. "We came so close to missing our chance, Rick."

"I know," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "That's why I pulled the wires out. I looked in your eyes and saw regret and I know it was written all over my face too. Things couldn't end that way, we needed another chance. And thankfully the universe was on our side." She smiled, and they sat there in silence for a while, just holding each other close. Finally, he broke the silence with the one question that had been on his mind since she showed up at his door. "Where's Josh?"

"I don't know," she answered. "I kind of left him standing at the precinct."

"You what?" Castle was shocked.

"He was hugging me, Castle, but all I could think of was how he hadn't been there for me and how we almost died today and I just….I knew it wasn't right, so I told him I had to go."

"You broke up?" Castle tried not to sound too hopeful.

"Not really, not officially," Beckett answered. "But I've decided that we're going to. I'll tell him tomorrow morning, but tonight I needed to be with you."

"I'm glad you're here," Castle said, his earlier anger fading away completely. "Every time I'm alone, I find myself back in that freezer with you slowly dying in my arms. That was the scariest moment of my life, thinking that you were going to die and I was powerless to save you. It's just…." He trailed off.

"I know," she said, taking his hand. "I'm having nightmares when I'm not even sleeping."

"Will you stay here tonight?" he asked tentatively. "Mother and Alexis won't be back till tomorrow and I don't want to be alone."

"Me neither," she admitted. "And yes."

They fell into comfortable silence after that, Beckett leaning against Castle's side, still holding his hand, and his other arm around her shoulder. A few minutes later, she let out a gigantic yawn, and Castle suggested that they head to bed.

"Do you want the guest room?" he offered, knowing that despite her confession she was still technically with Josh. He had no intention of turning her into a cheater.

"I want to be with you," she replied softy as they stood.

"Kate I don't want you to do this when you're still with…."

"Rick, I trust you," she interrupted. "And tonight, neither of us should be alone."

"Okay," he agreed, knowing she was right. She was still with Josh, but tonight they needed each other. They needed to be with the only other person who truly understood. They needed that reassurance that they were both still alive and that everything was going to be okay. Now that they both knew where they stood, the rest could wait. As they slid under the covers, Castle suddenly realized that was not true. He had been so overwhelmed by Beckett's confession that he realized he had never voiced his own feelings.

"Hey Kate," he murmured as they snuggled under the covers.

"Hmmm?" She scooted closer to him, taking his hand.

"For the record….I love you too."

She smiled as he wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "Good night Rick," she whispered, burying her head in his chest.

He kissed the top of her head gently and buried his face in her hair before replying. "Good night, Kate."


End file.
